Tuesday, January 22, 2008
One question can change your life

A genie in a lap will normally grant you three wishes, though I have encountered stories in which the genie gives only one. The book I just read allowed for as many wishes as you might need. You just had to come up with the wishes by answering one question.

"Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True" how is that for the longest title of a book ever!? When I originally bought this book it was for my cousin. She has a ton going on in her life and much of it I feel could be remedied if she would change her outlook. I thought this book might help her, but I doubt she has read it. Then I asked for it for Christmas, because it just kept nagging at me, I couldn't get the cover of the book off my mind. I don't know why, I just kept seeing it.

After reading it, I know now why it seemed so imperative that I read it. This book is one of the most profound I have ever read. It has a story in it, so don't feel it is completely "self help" but the insights in the stories are those that not only made 100% sense, but also could improve my own life if I practiced them.

In particular, there is a chapter in which the author is trying to figure out why he and his girlfriend (later wife) can never seem to stay happy for a long period of time. He begins to pay closer attention to their arguments and then he notices a pattern. He tells her about this pattern and she notices it, too. Together they come to the conclusion that they cause friction in their relationship almost purposefully. They will be happy for a period of time and then one tiny setback will cause a huge rift. The pattern was that every time things got really good they would assume things were "too good" and look for something to pick at. The author explains this happens because the person might subconsciously think they don't deserve long periods of happiness. Or that a human being just doesn't know how to cope with a long period of happiness so they seek out to find something sad to balance things. I know it seems crazy, but when I think about my own life I can see how that might be true.

You know the saying "she's only happy when she's sad?" Well, why would that be? A lot of people unfortunately look at happiness and say "It won't last, something bad is bound to happen." Well heck, with that outlook of course something bad will happen. Good grief. Yet this is how so many people act, including myself. You get what you give, you reap what you sow..yada yada. If you enjoy a period of happiness, only to confront those feelings with impending doom...aren't you just inviting sadness?

I'm not going to disclose more about the book or my thoughts on it. I think it is important for you to read it if any of this sounds interesting to you or could pertain to your life. I'm not saying I agreed with all of it, but it definitely got me thinking and I feel I'll be better for it.

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