Ode to a squirrel
By Christy On Friday, March 14, 2008 At 7:58 AM
If you find yourself driving West down Denny Road today please note the squirrel in the ditch kissing the dirt. Said squirrel is not digging up or burying anything, don't be fooled, it is indeed kissing the dirt.Why?
Because the MORON of a squirrel ran out in front of my Jeep this morning nearly causing me to swerve off the road due to the feeling of heart failure and pure shock of seeing an animal dart into my path.
Squirrel you lived this morning, but sooner or later your time will come. If ever you come back to life as something which can read this post, I want you to know that I know you saw me coming. My headlights were on and my Jeep doesn't blend into the road. Why? Why did you do it? Were you feeling lucky? Was there some other rodent coaxing you from the other side. Were you darting across the street to save another beast? Tell me. WHY! Why would you try to give me a heart attack when I'm already half asleep and driving Brae to day care. Hmm? Did you think about that? Did you think about how your actions would affect those around you?
No. Don't answer me. I don't want to hear a word of it. This conversation is not only over, but it never happened.
The end.
I think if you wanted to create a tagline for this post, all you'd have to do is check out the post labels at the bottom. It's all you need.
"craziness, driving, squirrel"
Yep.
Sorry you had a nutty morning.
Maybe he was acting out due to unmanaged stress in his life.
lol brian. so true.
Smirking cat...well, it is a wonder more humans don't dart in front of cars if that is the case.
Poor you. Squirrelly's are so annoying yet you can't help but feel bad when they get hurt.
Poor Squirrelly.
Sigh.
The squirrel survived. It didn't get hurt. It's just kissing the dirt because it lived. You see?
Geico hired him to do it! Squirrels really are high-fiving each other in the ditch at their near sucess of causing cardiac arrest in humans! It's true-I've seen them on "reality-TV"! LOL!
I always hear you aren't supposed to swerve. Oh, sure, say that to an animal lover. We'd rather put our car and our lives at risk to avoid them. I know the feeling girl. If it was only so easy as to think "it's just a stupid squirrel".
Let me just tell you, if I see any high fiving squirrels proud of their evil ways I will give them a serious talking to.
Hahaha Newt, I knew someone out there would understand. =o)