Ode to a squirrel

If you find yourself driving West down Denny Road today please note the squirrel in the ditch kissing the dirt. Said squirrel is not digging up or burying anything, don't be fooled, it is indeed kissing the dirt.

Why?

Because the MORON of a squirrel ran out in front of my Jeep this morning nearly causing me to swerve off the road due to the feeling of heart failure and pure shock of seeing an animal dart into my path.

Squirrel you lived this morning, but sooner or later your time will come. If ever you come back to life as something which can read this post, I want you to know that I know you saw me coming. My headlights were on and my Jeep doesn't blend into the road. Why? Why did you do it? Were you feeling lucky? Was there some other rodent coaxing you from the other side. Were you darting across the street to save another beast? Tell me. WHY! Why would you try to give me a heart attack when I'm already half asleep and driving Brae to day care. Hmm? Did you think about that? Did you think about how your actions would affect those around you?

No. Don't answer me. I don't want to hear a word of it. This conversation is not only over, but it never happened.

The end.

Labels: craziness, driving, squirrel