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For my friends and my family

Fairy Name

Your fairy is called Thorn Hailfly
She is a protector of the lonely.
She lives in brambles and blackberry bushes.
She is only seen at midday under a quiet, cloudless sky.
She wears purple and green like berries and leaves. She has cheery turquoise wings like a butterfly.

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By Christy On Thursday, November 5, 2009 At 11:09 AM
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Believe

"One day I went to work and Grace was at her desk and she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she'd been driving to work and she'd seen an ambulance and she pulled over and the car in front of her pulled over and the ambulance passed them. She said that she suddenly thought about how when someone is in danger or is hurt that an ambulance is called and that everyone moves so that the paramedics can get to that person in the shortest time possible. She said that all of a sudden she realised how wonderful that was. We, all of us, in this society, move so that someone we've never met can get help."

And some wisdom from Dawson's Creek...

Pacey: When she's around, I just feel more... I feel more alive. I think people underestimate how important that is.

Jen: I think they overestimate it, too. I mean, as much as you want to, you can't rely on someone else to make you feel alive. It's an inside job.

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By Christy On Thursday, October 29, 2009 At 8:09 AM
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Marriage Check-Up

Yes, I know, I read this on Oprah's web site, but I liked it and thought I'd share.

Forget everything you've been told. Like: Don't be picky; plan dates with your mate to keep love alive; don't even try to change his annoying habits. Wrong, all wrong.

1. Does my partner feel safe being emotionally vulnerable with me?

2. Does my partner feel accepted?

3. When I feel that life is yanking the rug out from under me, can I go to my partner for nonjudgmental support?

Answering no to even one can signal a fraying relationship.

Uh-oh!

"Reasons and rationalizations abound and rebound. It doesn't matter whether the infractions are big or small. At a certain point, we stop asking why and start asking how. How did it come to this? How much longer can I go on? When there are no hows left, the jig is up.

To be sure, there will be throngs of angry women who will decry me for plunging a stake into the heart of holy matrimony. "My husband is my lifeline," I've heard said (and that's bad news for the aorta). "My husband and I never fight" is another marital chestnut—again, bad news (not to mention a big fat lie), since according to the experts, the strongest relationships are the ones in which people can continually agree to disagree. "My husband is my best friend," others will aver."

Your husband is not your best friend. Your best friend is your best friend. If your husband were your best friend, what would that make your best friend? True that. Carrie is my best friend. Don't know what I would do without her. Seriously.

So I have been search and researching and re-researching to find advice. And some of the content I delve into asks me how I got to that page.

Does thinking about your marriage cause you tension and anxiety?

Are you tired of endless fights, anger and disappointment?

Exhausted by another tired, sleepless night of worry and confusion?

Is there sleeping on the couch and in the spare bedroom?

Are you constantly battling over the smallest issue -- which only led to bigger issues?

Are you both desperately wanting to be accepted and loved, but not feeling it? The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart.
Well damn. I'm not the only one. I didn't really think I was, but I also didn't think I'd stumble across so many people who were wondering the same things!

Some advice I have read...

You don't need a whole weekend away or even a regular "date night" to keep the spark alive. Dov and Chana Heller, both Beverly Hills-based marriage therapists and the parents of five, take short walks alone to catch up when they can.

Another option: Pair up to chauffeur the kids to daycare or pick them up from an activity, and use the kid-free portion of the commute or waiting time to chat.

If you can appreciate that the challenging times in your marriage are temporary, you're less likely to feel trapped. Feeling disconnected from your partner while your kids are little is going to happen -- and it doesn't mean that your marriage is on the rocks.

"Instead, see your anger or frustration as a signal that you just need to back up and make a greater effort to connect with each other," says Lindquist.

No matter how hard it may be at times, investing in your marriage now, while your children are young, is vitally important. "One of a child's greatest anxieties is the fear that her parents won't stay together," says Rosemond. "So what is a child's greatest comfort? Knowing that her parents' relationship is as strong as it can be."

So what if you feel like it is the happy times which are temporary?

Maybe the fact that you know you want to save your marriage is your answer. Maybe. Bending and adjusting and supporting and trying to just be there for each other, help each other out. I don't know.

"I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps."
- Rocky

Rocky knows.

As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever
decide to leave, she is coming with me."
- Jon Bon Jovi

Lol. Such a great quote.

Who I was when we met and who I am now. Fundamentally, quite different. But still, I know I want to be loved and treated well. I want to be a partner, a co-manager so to speak. I don't want to be in anymore "family" portraits without my husband.

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By Christy On Wednesday, October 28, 2009 At 8:22 AM
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Shit happens


Shit happens.
So you get thrown down on the ground, so what?
Don't just lie there, get the fuck up and deal!

photo credit: 1425 by =afoni
By Christy On Tuesday, October 27, 2009 At 3:17 PM
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Ghost Radar

Perhaps in the spirit of Halloween, but most likely because I have an affinity for loving all things paranormal regardless of the time of year...I downloaded and installed the Ghost Radar app on my iPhone.

It uses quantum physics, a quantum fluctuation is the temporary change in the amount of energy in a point in space, arising from Werner Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

And so right now I have it sitting on my desk at work to see if it picks up any anomalies. I realize with all the electronic equipment around me it would be futile to use an EMF reader and perhaps this quantum fluctuation reader is picking up interference as well, but it's still cool.
Readings from the flux are presented in a variety of ways. The most obvious are the blips on the radar. The colors of the blips are an indication of signal strength. Red indicates the signal is strongest. Yellow is a little weaker signal than red. Green is a little weaker signal than yellow. Finally blue indicates a very weak signal.

Each reading is also displayed in a set of ever changing numeric read outs. How your entities manipulate these numbers is totally up to them. The energy you are detecting can also try communicating with you through the scrolling letters. The letters on the bottom right of the screen are an interpretation of certain readings from the flux. An intelligent energy should be able to influence the letters and communicate with you.

Here are the readings from this morning:

Settings:
Scan Frequency: 5.0
Duplicate Detection Threshold: 5.0
Display Impedance: 5.0
Signal Timeout: 5.0
Signal Capacitance: 5.0

Words Spoken:
8:04 AM : number
8:04 AM : face
8:07 AM : spell
8:07 AM : planning
8:08 AM : truck
8:08 AM : usually
8:09 AM : you'll

Signals Detected:
8:03:12 AM : BLUE
8:03:13 AM : BLUE
8:03:14 AM : RED
8:04:00 AM : RED
8:04:01 AM : RED
8:04:02 AM : RED
8:04:08 AM : BLUE
8:04:09 AM : RED
8:04:13 AM : BLUE
8:04:14 AM : BLUE
8:04:16 AM : RED
8:04:17 AM : RED
8:04:20 AM : BLUE
8:04:21 AM : YELLOW
8:04:30 AM : BLUE
8:04:54 AM : BLUE
8:04:55 AM : BLUE
8:04:59 AM : BLUE
8:07:37 AM : BLUE
8:07:38 AM : BLUE
8:07:44 AM : YELLOW
8:07:45 AM : YELLOW
8:07:51 AM : RED
8:07:52 AM : RED
8:07:53 AM : RED
8:07:56 AM : BLUE
8:07:57 AM : BLUE
8:07:58 AM : BLUE
8:08:03 AM : GREEN
8:08:04 AM : GREEN
8:08:05 AM : GREEN
8:08:08 AM : RED
8:08:09 AM : RED
8:08:10 AM : RED
8:08:13 AM : RED
8:08:14 AM : RED
8:08:15 AM : RED
8:08:21 AM : GREEN
8:08:22 AM : GREEN
8:08:25 AM : BLUE
8:08:26 AM : BLUE
8:08:27 AM : BLUE
8:09:06 AM : RED
8:09:07 AM : RED
8:09:08 AM : RED

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By Christy On Friday, October 9, 2009 At 8:08 AM
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President Obama's Speech about Success in School

I just have to say that I don't understand why any parent would disagree with their child hearing a motivational speech about education and schooling. The President of the United States is making a strong effort in helping children around our country to appreciate their education and yet some parents are keeping their kids home from school just so they won't hear his speech. That is just ridiculous to me.

The prepared text of President Barack Obama's back-to-school address scheduled for Tuesdays, as released in advance by the White House:

Hello, everyone — how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through 12th grade. I'm glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday — at 4:30 in the morning.

Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I've given a lot of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility.

I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer — maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper — but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor — maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine — but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life — I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.

You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that — if you quit on school — you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.

I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in.

So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our first lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren't right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life — what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home — that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.

Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer — hundreds of extra hours — to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall.

And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.

Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education — and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work — that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That's OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you — you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust — a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor — and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you — don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down — don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

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By Christy On Tuesday, September 8, 2009 At 12:08 PM
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Mama of Two

On May 12th our little boy Finnegan Todd was born. I haven't been blogging much at all since then. Things have been busy, not so much hectic but learning the ropes of being a mama of two.

Finn is a great baby. He cries when he needs to let us know something, but for the most part he is pretty content and we are quite blessed.

Braeden is enjoying AND adjusting to being a big brother. He enjoys his baby brother, but isn't always keen on sharing me, fortunately he only takes it out on me and not on the baby. Unfortunately, it breaks my heart even though I know this will pass and he doesn't mean everything he says.

Yesterday Brae had surgery. He had his adenoids taken out. The surgeon came out and told us it was really great that we had them taken out because it turns out they were rather enlarged, had green mucous and pus coming out of them. Bleck! With that being said once he gets through this healing process we're hoping for major improvements in his health. Now that infectious elements have been removed he should be able to breathe better and should get less sinus infections/headaches. I'm praying it all turns out good. Last night was really rough for him. He spiked a fever and was in a great deal of pain before we were allowed to administer the pain medicine again. Needless to say he is taking time to actually sleep this morning.

For Brian and I it has been difficult taking care of a newborn (3 weeks old today) and a five-year-old in pain. But we're enduring and knowing that this too shall pass. For me..well I am exhausted and losing whatever is left of my sanity but I know the boys will grow up too fast and someday won't need me to take care of them...so that puts the exhaustion and chaos into perspective a little bit.

And now it's time to stop blogging. My boys need me. And I need them.
By Christy On Tuesday, June 2, 2009 At 9:32 AM
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