This morning, like any other, I opened Spotify, expecting my usual mix of indie gems and nostalgic throwbacks. But today, it was different. Today, Spotify reached into my mind, sifted through my tangled thoughts, and served up two songs that felt like they were reading my soul.
As I scrolled through my recommended tracks, two songs caught my attention: “Talking to Strangers” by JP Cooper and the newly released “Scared of Loving You” by Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. What struck me wasn’t just the catchy melodies or polished production – it was how eerily the lyrics seemed to mirror my inner dialogue about relationships and commitment.
Fear of rocking the boat
If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that as soon as a relationship starts to feel shaky—as soon as the boat rocks even slightly—my brain sounds the alarm. The overthinking begins, spiraling into a storm of doubt. Every past hurt, every failed attempt at love, every unspoken word that should have been said—all of it comes crashing back like waves I can’t outrun.
The thing about triggers is that they don’t just tap you on the shoulder. They grab you by the wrist and pull you under, dragging you through memories you thought you had made peace with. My body reacts before my mind can even process it, like a survival instinct I never signed up for. And just when I think I’ve surfaced, I get knocked back into the riptide.
But music? Music is my lifeline.
The Spotify Algorithm: A Digital Empath?
So how does Spotify manage to serve up songs that feel tailor-made for our emotional state? While the exact workings of their recommendation algorithm are proprietary, we know it takes into account factors like your listening history, the time of day, and even the weather in your location.
But perhaps more intriguingly, Spotify also analyzes the audio characteristics of songs – things like tempo, key, and mood – to identify patterns in your musical preferences. This allows them to recommend tracks that not only match your taste but also your current emotional state.
The Body’s Response to Emotional Triggers
It’s not just our minds that react to these relationship fears – our bodies play a significant role too. Research has shown that emotional triggers can activate our sympathetic nervous system, leading to physical responses like increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and muscle tension. These physiological changes can intensify our emotional state, creating a feedback loop that’s hard to break.
In moments of emotional turmoil, many of us turn to music as a source of comfort and understanding. There’s science behind this instinct – studies have found that listening to music can release dopamine and serotonin, neurotransmitters that influence mood, focus, and anxiety levels.
Drowning in Sound, Learning to Swim Again
I let myself get lost in these songs, not just because they understand me, but because they remind me that I’m not alone in this. That fear of vulnerability is universal. Others have felt this same hesitation, the same resistance to letting someone in, the same anxiety that love might not last.
Yet, despite all of that, despite the waves that crash and the triggers that resurface, I keep pushing forward. I keep listening. I keep reminding myself that vulnerability isn’t a weakness – it’s the bravest thing a person can be.
So, I’ll keep letting Spotify get inside my head. Even though I have a playlist entitled “Get Outta My Head” where I collect these songs, hahaha. I’ll keep letting these lyrics find me, hold me, and maybe even heal me. And one day, I’ll hear a song not about fear, but about finally finding the strength to love without hesitation.
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